When the ground beneath your feet goes soft

A life crisis arises when, over a longer period of time, a person can no longer meaningfully fit events into their previous view of the world – the balance that used to provide stability has been lost, whether through loss, change or a new phase of life (Hoffmann & Hofmann, 2017) ^[1]. Professionally, this is often described as an adjustment disorder, whose course is typically marked by several phases: from an initial shock through a phase of inner “disarmament” – letting go of old ideas – to a gradual turn toward new perspectives ^[1].

A striking image is that of transitions as “soft ground”: when moving from one phase of life to the next, the solid ground of the old order no longer holds, and a new one has not yet been found ^[2]. What matters here is not the objective severity of the event, but the subjective appraisal of whether a coping strategy is available. Those who see a solution experience a challenge; those who see none experience a crisis.

Seen systemically, life crises are almost always embedded in networks of relationships: the loss of a partner, a separation, children moving out or a change of career changes not only the person affected but the entire social system around them – with repercussions on roles, expectations and patterns of communication within the family or social network. Resilience research shows that consciously drawing on personal and socially mediated resources is crucial to whether a crisis becomes an occasion for growth (Welter-Enderlin, 2006) ^[3].

In counseling, the aim is therefore first to accept the crisis for what it is – not as a catastrophe, but as a transition with its own dynamics – to make your own resources and your supportive environment visible, and to develop new orientation step by step.